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charliecrooker
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Name: Charles
Country: Singapore
Metro: Singapore
Gender: Male
Interests: Pursuing God's purpose, Waiting for 'Her' , repairing guitars, PRS & Teles & Gretschs , Indie Movies, Hawker food, songwriting
Expertise: hopeless romantic , being sarcastic and finding good food
Occupation: Student , open mic singer
Industry: Who wants to employ me?
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
MSN: funnycharles@msn.com
Member Since:
10/6/2005
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| Been spending more time on my guitar practice than school work these past weeks. Maybe I'm starting to fall back on old habits...
After listening to John Mayer non-stop and Super Junior on repeat mode since the start of school, I'm starting to feel a mashup of sorts in my head.
Countless tutorial videos, live performances, licks... I realise, I'm trying so hard to be John Mayer.. when I should be just Charles Low.
Indeed heroes are influential, but not to the extent of sounding like a copy.
Somewhere inside me, I know I'm trying too hard to be like Mayer. I should just be me, honest, simple and most importantly, original.
Nothing else on my mind except for the lack of proper work done. I'm super inefficient and distracted with guitaring at the expense of homework. Its kinda ironic considering.....
I wonder, if it is possible just to get another chance at this. Its not as if it failed me or anything. But I'm giving up trying my chances at it for now. No point searching for something you cannot find. All I need now is clarity. Lots and lots of Clarity in my life. This doesn't imply that I'm quitting it. Rather, seasons change and this season isn't something that is appropriate in nature (pun intended). Maybe I'm changing too by it. Whatever the case, I'm not ready for it.
What is 'it'?
You decide. Ambiguity empowers this message more. Mika taught me that so effectively through his songwriting. (well partially thanks to The Beatles too..)
cheers
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| Friday, what a hectic day filled with lessons and only a half-hour break. Nonetheless, I think today was one of the better days for me here in school.
Despite teachers' ranting, lack of motivation and PMSing ... I found some sense of calm and release... through Jam & Hop.
Many kept asking me why I wasn't playing considering they assumed we were going to play. Well, screw ups happen and it is important to reflect on our personal attitudes and behaviours on a daily basis. The worst that anything can get is opening one's big mouth and blowing your cover. I'm not angry or anything..but I warned of such things in the past and its sad that it was not taken seriously on a daily basis.
So I did not play at Jam & Hop... was I demoralised?
Not a single bit. In fact, I thought it was a very good thing I wasn't playing. All that CSE and homework I have to catch up on.. especially CSE has been taking a toll on my health. I'm kinda burnt out after open house. If only I had more fuel..
Really am glad that I wasn't playing Jam & Hop. Now that I realise it, I have nothing to prove to anyone in this school, so what the flashy fast pentatonic run- guitar solo? No one will remember it if you're gonna leave a bad impression?
Jam & Hop was fun because the people on stage really had the showmanship and attitude that the J1s look up to. The music need not be perfect or the equipment good, but the attitude portrayed was excellent. Nothing vulgar, nothing naughty, nothing flashy, just pure audience engagement and fun.
The best part of Jam & Hop was being the audience, releasing all that stress by screaming and shouting and cheering for my friends on stage. They had nothing to prove but they did what they did best. And that is being a humble performer with maximum audience engagement.
So jumping around with my friends and the band people was great. Made new friends and connected more music. The important thing at the moment now is not about sticking/loyalty to one band alone. I prefer working with as many different musicians as possible. It broadens my perspectives and guides me to the style of music I'm confident and capable at.
Its good to know that they are still people in the school who likes Slow blues and funk. I'll jam with them one day when the time permits. Who knows? Maybe I'll find out what I'm still searching for...
The whole classic rock thing is fun but its not my thing. Its like wearing a tight underwear. You wear it not because it fits, but there is no other underwear.
Now I found new underwear that is something similar to what I'm looking for....
I'm not taking sides or anything, but egos aside, less is more. Trust me on this, after 7 years of practice and a year of solo open-mikes and various band jams, learning to try out different things is of paramount importance.
cheers
p.s Jam & Hop was beyond my expectations. Who cares about the quality of the music when the qualities of the individual musicians outshone everything else. Lesson learnt :) | | |
| For the sake of curiousity..
After listening to a lot of mainstream music, emo lyrics, girl-guy songs, distorted guitars and lame bass lines... I've finally come to the conclusion that this will be the generation of music lovers that will enjoy such music. What ever happened to something called musicality?
Maybe I'm not expanding my music diet enough but all this mainstream crap is really bad for the ears.
Aiyah, this week has been real crappy for me, everything is starting to crumble. I'm wasting time noodling on guitar when I'm supposed to be finishing overdue homework.
Can I just for once be more distracted about the homework instead of other things such as 'Her' and my guitars and the tons of beautiful blues/funk/jazz music worth learning.
Indeed, my interets and focuses are messed up. Gah, I'm so annoyed at myself...
What is wrong with my focus. Instead of work, I keep thinking of ...... and... and....
Bloody notice board so hard to do. Cannot get any good ideas. Still have Mr Leong's stuff to settle and TONS OF OVERDUE HOMEWORK.... this is the life.
There is also Pre-U Sem I was interested in taking part. However, Arts Fusion will burn me out like hot wax on a candle. Instead its slow dancing in a burning room... and with that, there is also another calling....
Right after Thursday's Morning Assembly and Pre-U sem talk, Mr Nair approached me again. Somewhere within me, there are tons of conflicting feelings.
I never expected myself to get this kind of invitation. Never have I dreamt of doing acting. Strangely, I have some sort of 'amateur' potential as Mr Nair said. I'm excited at the chance of going on stage under the limelight as the antagonist. (yes people, I play the bad guy, just like in the real world where I'm the fat emo loser playing lame guitar)
The prospect really excites me, at the cost of my studies and focus. Maybe this will be a good thing. My studies are a piece of crap in the first place and all I need now is more distractions to keep my mind off things that bother me.
I'm not trying to be emotional or anything but, this is just the way my mind pieces the connections with my thoughts. No longer am I able to think rationally without 'thinking'. can I consider it a habit? No?
I'm getting the script soon and SYF is coming up. If I do go onboard, it will be another year of rough days with Band and .....
I hate being a Jack of all trades but this 'opportunity' is too hard to pass up. Maybe it will help me more as a real person by being someone else in reel life.
cheers
p.s ....been looking up on acting heroes such as Jack Nicholson and Alan Rickman. Remember, I portray a cold,bitter and scheming salesman. Somehow, this feels so much like real life family politics.. GAH!
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| This week can only get more crappy.
First is the bloody school work that never ends.
Then there is Napfa training which I enjoy very much. (2km in 10mins flat.. I'm reaching my target :)
I'm stoning in class thanks to the overwheming workload.
Then there is Band Admin to finish up. Teachers continue to scold non-stop..
Whatever lah, I'm in a pissy mood to feel even more angry (contradictions..) than I'm already am.
So much messed up shit to clean up. You give me only one broom and expect so much to be cleaned up? Thanks
BAH I'm so effing angry to blog about anything nice this week.
Screw this lah Chao Jedi
cheers | | |
| Today was tiring, I ran a total of 7 rounds on the school track in 20 mins, considering how unfit I am, I'm pretty proud.
CVD Talentime today. The Band got through despite Adrian's drumming. Hope that his fear will be gone in time.
Band today, tired from the running, carrying of gear, jamming and now blowing Tuba. I was sleeping in band... whatever.
Still got so much work, I'm losing faith and beginning to burn out...GAH
Anyways, while emo-ing at the Wednesday expresso after band, I plugged my Vox straight into the guitar...the clean tone was great.. partially thanks to Wedex's echo..
then I played Slow Dancing In A Burning Room...
while noodling some mayer licks and playing the intro/verse progression in a loop, Only girls recognised the song...
Woah...
John Mayer has definitely got some charm with the women in his songwriting department.
cheers
What an odd day, girls and John Mayer... weird.. | | |
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